Random Thoughts

Ok,  I am back from a few weeks of travel, training and general mayhem.  I don’t have any questions to answer and have too many thoughts bouncing around me to write a coherent column so I thought I would just empty my brain (really, how long could that take?) of the random thoughts and observations from the past few weeks.

I’m not convinced the human brain is currently set-up for monogamy.   Is it me or sometimes it feels like the brain wants ANYONE else except for your mate?

On the flip side, going the distance with your soul mate (the literal “going the distance” not the euphemistic “going the distance”) offers the fullest, deepest life possible.  And I’m not just writing this cause my wife read the previous sentence.  Honest.

The same idea holds true for plastic surgery to make you look younger.  That’s like landing on a chute in the Chutes and Ladders game.  It’s going back to the beginning.  You were ALREADY young, now it’s time to deal with being and looking older.  Climb a ladder.

I find getting older cool; it’s interesting and a new experience.  “What, I have to urinate AGAIN, that’s interesting.”

It’s one or the other, either we are evolving to a more rational personality model (think Spock in Star Trek) or our emotions will always be with us and we must evolve to better integrate their drives and purpose.

When will they invent a pill I can take that is the same as eating 14 helpings of vegetables?

If you want an answer to the age old question “Are people inherently good or evil?”, book yourself a seat on a cross country flight on any airline, you will have your answer.  Hint – it’s not good.

Has anyone ever heard the pilot say the following, “Folks, there are several passengers who are trying to make tight connections so if you have time, would you mind letting them out first?” and actually SEEN people do this?  I haven’t nor would I fall for such a ploy.

I would love to give birth to identical twins and give one away immediately to another family where the parents are the exact opposite of me and then see if there is a difference in the kids when they got older

Ok, I would probably give botrh kids away.

QUESTION – What’s the opposite of a creative, mercurial, self-centered, bipolar recluse with periodic bouts of extroversion?

ANSWER – I don’t know but I’m willing to bet their check book is in order.

Wouldn’t’ life be better if we all agreed to the Kevorkian solution when we hit age 50?  Wouldn’t we be a little more focused on important shit and spend less time worrying about furniture, warranties, and offending the neighbors?

That means I have 5 years left…what would I do?  Quit my day job, say my good byes, wish my kids the best, get rid of all material possessions, lace up my best pair of hiking boots and walk on out the door.

WHAT IS THE POINT?

I think humanity is just the latest experiment from nature.  The dinosaurs seemed to be working out well till that comet hit and then not so much.  Let’s see how semi-conscious beings do.

We have three and only three choices when faced with any problem.  Influence the outcome, accept it or remove it.  I tried accepting dirty dishes but that didn’t go over so well at my house.

I am raising sarcastic cynical kids.  I better not whine and complain when they direct that same skill set at me although I probably will.

I know I promised an A.D.D column and its coming.  Here’s a teaser.  I tried some A.D.D medication (took some of my friend’s kid’s medication); it felt a lot like the Flowers for Algernon story.  Way smarter and more productive but I like me better as a slacker.   Although I did make the bed that morning for the FIRST TIME EVER IN MY LIFE.  No joke.  It felt like I was on a time released cocaine drip.  But that would be illegal so really I have no idea what that would feel like.

Random thoughts was fun, now you say something.